Great! I pulled myself up from slumber this early morning, and fall back straight into it. So, I missed training today over at Macritchie. Argh, I didnt mean for this to happen. I had all my training stuff ready the night before. Everything was just 'take and go'. I guess my discipline is very 'private limited'.

Why cant I be more like Daryl? His "lust for his horn" makes him so enthusiastic and 'ON' for his practices. I dont lust for running. I dont crave for adrenaline. I guess I do not have the passion for track&field. And I can understand why. I still clearly recall back then, why I joined NJC Track & Field. There werent many choices back then. Also, I had the intention of joining NJPA, and a sport CCA.

I dropped out from NJPA because I couldnt stand the "super chinese" culture in there. It is a real waste. I mean, I should have continue my research and experiential learning in PA, after 4 years in ACS(I). I may have become more than a professional. Okay, I'm bullshitting. But this thing has taught me something in life. You cant choose your working environment. You can only make it better. The adage goes this way, "Make the best of what you have".

I made a serious mistake back then at the early part of the year. I was kind of like despising the equipment NJPA was using. Nope, I wasnt despising the people, but just the equipment. Why did I ever do that? How can I compare the kind of funding that NJPA gets with that kind of funding ACS(I)'s PA (it's called Media Resource Team over at ACSI)?

Over to the sport CCA that I was mentioning, before I was officially in NJC, I wanted to join softball. I was a little bit of a copycat. My elder brother was in NJC before, and he was in the softball team. But after one tour of NJC led by my brother during the Open Day, he had a small exchanging with our J2 team. He bat, and observed how they went after the ball. Finally, he told me to reconsider joining softball. Being the shallow me at the beginning of the year, I heeded his advice and looked for another sport CCA to join. Of course, for those who know me, or have been reading my blog often, you'll know my final choice was Track & Field. I decided on that partly because NS is coming up. I know that I will have to put in hard work on my fitness so that NS will be a breeze. I did not want to be suffering in there. My top priority was to better my 2.4km timing. To any sportsmen out there, this objective is easy peasy. The same goes for me, becuase within the same year, which is this year, my timing improved by 2min. I can easily clear 2.4km in around 10min. With this goal achieved, what else am I looking for in Track & Field? I know that I am not super good to go into competitive level, so what's the point of training super hard now? This is the shitty thinking that is inside me now that's not pushing me hard to go down for training. To tell you the truth, the reason I go down for training now is just to maintain my fitness. But clearly, at the frequency I am going down for training, me deteriorating in results is nowhere far from reality. Or maybe it is reality by itself.

Seriously, I dont find running all that interesting. The way I see it, it is just simply running to improve your stamina and fitness. That's all! I dont see it that far into the competitive level. I am looking for a sport CCA that requires technique and skill. I must admit that I should have listen to Vince back then, that Track & Field is a boring CCA that simply brings you running everywhere, be it on the track or off it. Hopefully, there isnt anybody in NJC Track & Field reading this. Otherwise, I'll be slaughtered, despised, whatever...

The next time I look for a co-curricular acitivity, or extra-curricular acitivity, I will be sitting down and thinking hard, whether I like it or have the passion for it.

Anyway, Happy Birthday Charlene! Wish you all the best, although I know you wouldnt be reading my blog. =)

-always.aim.high.neva.say.u.die.success.will.come.to.anyone.who.try-