Sigh! It's hard to practise what you preach. Seriously. Just what the hell am I talking about? A while back, I was looking at my first few entries for this blog. I was such a happy person, so eager for tomorrow to come. But now, I'm reduced to a person just looking forward to nightfall, when the time to sleep draws near. It's a a little pity, that this is my incentive for me to carry on my day. But again, fortunately, this is only for the weekdays. It's a different me when it's the weekends. Okay, let's not sidetrack. I was indeed such a happy person during the first three months, and the first few weeks for term 2. But what followed on is a twist in my life, when things started to fail me or not going my way. The thing that I really want to touch on, is actually quite simple, just between me and diana. Frankly speaking, I am a person with an avoiding personality, and I must admit that this is not good. Today, after lunch, in class, as I was waiting for econs tutorial to start, I was walking around the class. The bell rang, and I walked back to my seat and along the way, past the back door, as I looked out, right in front of me was her. I saw her, and she saw me. The natural reaction will be just a 'hi' or a 'hello'. But because of the things that had happened, combine that with my avoiding personality, results in me just turning away. I'm kind of regretting what I did, I mean my "turning away", because that terribly shows that I have not overlook that matter. My concious mind tells me that I have let the matter to rest, and that I had better throw it far behind me, but at the same time, this thing still comes up and reminds me like a scar. My sub-concious mind tells me stuffs in bits and pieces, now and then, but piece them all together, I get a plate of rojak. All messed up, and you still do not understand. I guess this is how I always seem to put myself into the 'thinking mode'.

I really have to make my sub-concious mind agree with my concious mind that I have overlooked this matter. Otherwise... friends we are not! Quite a predictable and natural outcome. It's only a 'hi' or a 'hello'. Jason will be able to do that... I believe.