okay... i'm fine now... i accept wad everything is like now, coz there's nothing much i can change abt it... only to accept it... hav changed my nick to this "staying happy is a choice, choose it happily". looks like nothing but actually mean alot to me. figuring out and understanding this line has made me much better, and definitely cheerful now... cant expect anything more!

thanks yaowen! read ur blog... i know that there r always u pple there for me... without fail! also, for the part abt comparing myself to others, still feeling kinda inferior, since i haven really find out wad's really gd of me... will continue in search of a better me...

thanks daowei! glad to know that u're there for me too, especially so when u're in NJ... but too bad we're in different class... but still, u're the closest, literally, other than lionel, to me... haha...

had this really weird dream... think it's all becoz of all the bad impressions of my GP tutor in my mind. in my dream, i was throwing vulgarities at my GP tutor, think was becoz he said something bad abt my parents or wad la. then i juz stoof up frm my chair, hurled bad words at him, and then walked out of class... haha... really weird... hopefully it's not deja vu or wad... coz i really wouldnt want to get myself into trouble doing such a thing... but really, i juz got the feeling that one day, i cannot tahan his nonsense anymore, then i juz $%^# him... hope that i dun la...

oh, it's national day celebration tmr! heard that those involved put in alot of effort into the whole thing. muz say something abt the PA crew. i mean, i'm frm MR wad, so i know wad the experience is like... but definitely, i prefer doing MR in the AC environment...

was talking to huiyan abt not wanting to grow older... know y? coz i found out that after moving on to NJ frm AC, i'm beginning to see the ugly side of this world... like backstabbing, politics, pple putting up a front so as to get a gd impression frm u... hAiz... y talk abt this? coz i juz got my track ex-co form... not that i'm saying anything bad abt NJ track team... everyone's perfectly fine... in my perspective at least... but getting this form reminded me of when jiangshui running for air pistol guys captain, as well as the NJ PA... it's like, in air pistol, heard a few things abt the "then" situation when the running elections were taking place... many were ugly i muz say... so disappointing la, pple turning out to be like this... hAiz... dun wanna elaborate... as for NJ PA, it's like, almost 85% dominated by RV pple la... that's y i stop going down after the first few meetings... wad abt this dominance? it's like, dominance is a pressurising thing... especially when it comes to politics... dunno how to say or elaborate, but then, it's a huge influencing factor in the elections la... and another thing, i cant stand the pure RV-chinese culture that's going on in NJ PA... they're conversing in chinese like everytime? i juz ta-bu-lay tahan la! wah lau eh...

i'm going to msia this coming long wkend... will try to get presents for pple la... but then i'm only going to KL and genting... and it's not like i'll be getting anything special... i dun want to get something that i can actually easily get them in sg... i mean, wad's the pt in the end? getting something which u can get in sg... even if it's cheaper... whenever i get presents hor, i always insist that they muz be special and unique... otherwise, i find the present totally redundant... dun get also can... but still, it's impt to show ur sincerity rite? aiyah... see how first la... see wad i can get...